FMP: Development, pt 6: Monoprinting and hand drawing concept

I mentioned this quite a bit previously, that I was able to finally start trying out some of these concepts through monoprint and hand drawing an extended version of the drawing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue drawing these illustrations by hand, but with more clear detail to them, or if monoprint was the way to go.

So I just tried both.

 

Feeling like I’m bottled up. My true self cannot be seen, or is being held back.

   

The feeling of everyone watching me. ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

I chose to do a literal translation of the first illustration because the thought of being sucked in to a bottle or even trapped inside one. The texture that came from this one was very pretty, and I think the colour worked well with the illustrations concept.

The same again, with this one also, I think the monoprint technique works well to give that distorted sensation. I might need to start thinking of how i could pull the two methods together to make the illustrations bolder.

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FMP: Initial plans, development, pt5

Have you ever had someone who had inspired you, but you haven’t ever met them or know them personally?

I just wanted to write about this experience very briefly, whenever I came to having a panic attack caused by my anxiety (I’ve had two this year, and it’s literally the worst experience you could ever have); there was a moment where I could recall this saying of ‘Water off a ducks back’. When I had my interview for this University, I would remind myself of one of my favourite Queens, and remember that everything was going to be okay.

In my 2nd year at London Met, I was so incredibly ecstatic that I was able to finally SEE them perform and be in arms length of them. Jinkx Monsoon is one of the most inspiring people of today, and I just wanted to share that with everyone. Her saying still sticks with me till today.

As for these illustrations, the situation I had at hand was difficult, I wish that sometimes I could hide away from the situations that approach me or that a clouded shadow would just hide me entirely from sight, so I can avoid dealing with it.

Sometimes I feel that my words can’t come out or there’s this tug of something holding me back from wanting to do something. A tight pressure squeezing me so tight, that it stops me from breaking free.


FMP, GT: Rug tufting workshop

This was pretty enjoyable actually, from what I recall. At first it was a little tricky, due to the amount of pressure in steering the gun the correct way, but it was quite the experience. I’ve never done rug tufting before, but it was similar to handling a sewing machine. Now, that I can handle.

  

However, I don’t think this would be something I would revisit in future, unless I wanted to make my own rug or something similar with my own design on it.

FMP: Initial ideas, 4.

Brainstorming my thoughts, I decided to start thinking about how many images I could develop from one initial image.

I decided to do this, while moving on the go from travelling back and forth on the bus. The first trip was from my home to Maidstone. I honestly don’t like doing this trip in particular; people tend not to pay attention to themselves or where they’re moving their body in this location. However, I noticed that I was more anxious when it came to paying for something, or having to excuse myself from the transportation.

Sometimes, when I start brooding quietly about the issue I must face, I feel that there’s a lot more issues that may occur. Negative thoughts start to hit me, and I can’t control it. I do try to think positive sometimes, but it really is difficult.

FMP, Initial development, pt 3

This set was a lot more free in the way that I was able to work with just inkpen and my brushes. I was rather taken back by how dark some of my thoughts became, and at that time in all honesty, I felt that these were created on a couple of rough days I had. In a sense, it does help me to start thinking about how dark anxiety can be and how it can create other emotions, such as depression, yet, for some reason, I’m wondering how I could try and make this image a little more bolder, or if it were best to keep them as they are.

With this set, I had the line of wanting things to be perfect. This was an occurrence that happened when I was trying to get a commission done for a character design for someone online, and it was just a horrible, terrible day for me. I felt so stressed that I couldn’t get anything done. I tried to draw the word over and over, until it was perfect, but eventually, the word became so tired and worn out, that it became imperfect. Continue reading

FMP: Initial , pt 2 .

Continuing to write down a thought or a line, of how the situation makes me feel and I try to quickly draw what comes to mind in connection with it.

I kept the routine of drawing to A6, due to I found these illustrations to be very personal and they reflect something that I find difficult to express this sort of emotion.

I felt that these drawings, even though they’re quite rough and small, they help to reflect the difficulties. Overall, this set comes across as quite restricted in the lines and how the imagery sometimes becomes unclear to see.